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May 2017 - p.8
The music world was so boring this month that I was forced to take rohypnol after writ
ing this column just so that I could forget anything I researched Luckily I managed to
write down some findings before I passed out Honestly only two things caught my
eye First a headline for a recent article in the Guardian newspaper which questioned
whether Harry Styles could be the new Bowie but there's currently no evidence of the
former One Dire Erection singer battling liver cancer so I've no idea where they got
that idea from The second was guitarist Slash announcing a special live performance
at a zoo in Los Angeles to mark its th year Animal lovers were no doubt delighted at
this unmissable spectacle and we can speculate they heard renditions of classic Guns N’
Roses songs such as “Sweet Chimp Of Mine” “Civil Walrus” “Get In The Cage” and
“Welcome To The Zoo” So whilst the music world goes to sleep for a month I will
investigate how our relationship with music has changed over the years
Music enthusiasts are strongly showing their
love and support for physical copies of albums
because it means they can touch lick and fondle
large artwork or an image of the band they
approve of As well as chewing the corners off
record sleeves whilst hearing words blasted at
them they can also read and understand lyrics
instead of streaming annoying YouTube lyric
videos which are about as irritating as a karaoke
machine at a hen party Most importantly you
have ownership of the music you enjoy after
paying for it once Music streaming for many
has become the modern day version of the
video hire shop; consumers would pay cash to
hire a new film watch it as many times as
possible (normally twice) and then return it
with nothing to show for it other than a vague
memory of having seen it
Obviously by owning a vinyl player it limits the
LET'SGET PHYSICAL
locations you can hear an album so streaming
services who rely strongly on mobile phone
users have the advantage; years ago Cassette
players and the CD Walkman made it possible
for people to listen to music anywhere they
wanted including public toilets trains cinemas
funeral services and examination rooms Vinyl
lovers seem to rub shoulders with the
streaming sites and jump on the band wagon in
attempts to demonise the Compact Disc with
the argument that vinyl is superior sounding
than the CD Sir Elton John argues “It does
sound better I know people say it doesn’t but
it does” I said exactly the same thing about
Elton's latest record My solution is just
purchase any album you like on Compact Disc
and you can perfectly recreate the unique
sound of the best vinyl player in the world
simply by employing a fat person to eat an
extra large packet of oven baked potato chips
whilst rustling the bag next to the vinyl player
as you listen to your favourite album; it really
does recreate that crisp sound
News Trash
News Flash
CASSETTE &COMPACT DISC
