Music Industry Explained - Part 9

Drummers Breakables

Every drummer, despite having to transport an entire drum kit to gigs, recording studios or brothels will, for their own interests, need to provide extra smaller drum components which have a tendency to break if used too much (hence the name breakables). These are Hi-hats and cymbals which make all the crashy splashy noises; a Snare drum which makes all the tappy whacky noises and a drum pedal which gives bass players a friend on stage. Arguably and bizarrely the heaviest burden of all for a drummer is having to remember to carry with them a tiny hi-hat clutch and felts which guarantee cymbals remain locked for the duration of a performance and are approximately the same weight as a home pregnancy test kit. Most drummers behave in a very negative manner towards staff when discovering that most studios or venues don’t stock an abundance of spare felts and clutches which coincidently can very easily fit into a drummers pocket. Normally in this situation a drummer will confidently reply “I guess I’ll have to use the ones in my car then!” and (we can speculate) will appear like an idiot.

Music charts

A music chart is a ranking of music (songs, albums) normally according to popularity during a given period of time. High chart positions such as a top ten can reward an artist or songwriter within it a career boost in professional respect and, with that, the impression that record sales have risen. However, not all music charts work this way; a participation music chart for example is less to do with popularity and record sales and more the action of purely taking part and, in extreme cases, mass spamming.

Case study: Reverbnation.com
An example of a participation music chart appears to be the Reverbnation.com website which although admirably focuses on the independent music industry has a rather bizarre chart system which no one seems to successfully swallow. For instance; your chart position alters after you spend an hour hammering replies to your ten pages of inbox messages which are mainly attention requests lovingly dispatched to you from other bands; It’s almost as if an increase in traffic to your page ensures your chart position rises. Allegedly it is impossible for Reverbnation to track sales data which means that this information cannot be used to determine your rightful position in the charts. According to their site “Your Band Equity score is the basis for your chart position” and that’s determined by using “...a proprietary algorithm that measures the breadth and depth of an artist’s relationship with fans”. The top ten artists in most areas coincidently are also very highly skilled at spamming people to death with cold meaningless public comments serving only to self promote and ignore the receiver. It has also been known for hundreds of bands around the world to share a number one chart position of some description on ReverbNation all at the exact same time; making the achievement of being at number one completely meaningless.

360 Deal

If you’ve been offered a 360 deal then you’re probably one of the twenty musicians on the planet that this knowledge will actually be useful to; of course the chances of any of those twenty reading this is less likely but for whoever is it’s sensible to be informed. No one should really enter into any exclusive recording contract between a record company and an artist, especially a 360 deal, without the assistance of someone with either a strong background in law (not Judge Dredd) or a solid understanding of all the jargon used (so not a bass player). Whereas a traditional recording contract normally targets sales of an artist’s recorded music, the 360 deal allows the label to exploit other income streams such as touring and live performance, merchandise, endorsements, digital products and publishing. Basically, in order to not get screwed over, negotiating fair splits and percentages are a necessity for your lawyer. If a label wants a cut from anything you do then make them work for it. For example; if you do any TV work and they want a slice of that too then insist they pay for acting lessons and your television licence; everything can be negotiated.

Worst month for independent musicians

August is arguably the most unrewarding time of the year for the majority of independent musicians. Worse than December when everyone bends over backwards for consumerism followed by the distraction of January poverty and alcoholism. More disastrous than February when Winter becomes real and events get cancelled short notice; especially ones near Valentines Day bizarrely; everyone gets so miserable about it so they treat themselves by booking a long expensive summer holiday that they can barely afford. No one has time for music mid August because the population is aware that kids all return to school in September and they’ve only days of freedom left to binge-watch their favourite Television shows and masturbate violently in their sound proofed garden sheds and embrace home comforts. A decision is made by adults to hibernate and reboot mid September whilst their offspring run amok wild in the streets waiting for their prison term to commence. The major music festivals have by this time already been attended and televised, everyone’s now drained, bored of songs or bands and many independent three piece acts consider quitting altogether because two thirds of the band have decided to live a hundred miles away or work unsociable hours in their new fulltime job at the garden centre which is to help fund their career (another term for jerking off in a shed).