Ryan's Gig Guide - January 2019

STARWARS: Episode IX (December 20th 2019) Disney As this magazine goes to print there's minuscule speculation as to what 'StarWars: Episode IX's' title will be; I'm almost beyond caring; whatever It is I'm sure it will subvert expectations. How about 'StarWars: Go screw yourself Rian John- son' or 'StarWars:The Kennedy cash cow'? Any- way, because true Star Wars fans felt total discombobulation after tolerating the appalling script to 'Star Wars: The Last Feminist Jedi' (which then affected the box office results for the disaster known as 'Solo:A StarWars Story'); the girls at Disney have cancelled the majority of projects concerning the oversaturated Star Wars universe and are lingering to observe how Episode IX performs along with Jon Favreau's new live-action StarWars adventure 'The Man- dalorian' or basically the Boba Fett fanboy se- ries. Director J.J. Abrams is burdened with the unenviable task of making the sequel to 'Star Wars:The Last Jedi' a commercial success; let's pray Diane Abbot is in charge of the Box Office statistics during its opening weekend. DOCTORWHO: New Years Day Special (January 1st 2019) BBC1. We didn't get a Christmas special because it was her TIME of the month but expect more excit- ing white male bashing in this final instalment to cap series 11.Time lord JodieWhittaker travels back to the year 1989 to shoot actor Sylvester McCoy in the face thus assassinating the second worst Doctor Who ever. As McCoy begins re- generating into Paul McGann (the next Doctor Who) Jodie stabs him in the head with her sonic screwdriver and repeats this until finally she in- evitably kills a regeneration of herself; ironically murdering the DoctorWho franchise once and for all. Look forward to diabolical writing, poor science fiction and more terrible acting from a time lord with a face that only a mother could punch. I understand that this is the BBC's at- tempt at showing diversity by making Jodie Whittaker the 13th DoctorWho but I still think they should have cast Harvey Price instead. DC EXTENDED UNIVERSE (2019-2020) DC Comics 'AquaMan' plunged into the festive season, 'Shazam!' is to be released April 5th 2019 and 'Wonder Woman 1984' has been pushed back for a 2020 launch. Is DC back on track? Yes; I think so.After 'Man Of Steel' came out in 2013 many DC Comics fans soon realised that their idea of Superman was not someone who angrily punches people in the head repeatedly, or allows thousands of innocent people to die during his personal battles with aliens and seems only bothered about saving one human life and that's Lois Lane. 'WonderWoman' (2017) seems to be the critics favourite DC Comics release in re- cent years; 'Justice League' (2017) was a mess, 'Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice' (2016) was messy and 'Suicide Squad' (2016) was even messier with actor Jared Leto badly miscast as The Joker; he looked more like Goldie and Grotbags' secret lovechild. However; I reckon DC Comics have learnt from their mistakes and we're going to see more quality cinema releases in the future. 2019 will be the year of 'Shazam!' and possibly 'Joker' (expected late 2019); 2020 should hopefully give us 'Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)' but let's see how this year goes first ah? Let's hope AquaMan hasn't sunk as well. Frontman and guitarist for British bandWeak13 Nick J Townsend is. Also experienced Underground musician and music promoter, film producer, all round good guy & sup- porter of original music is he. rgg Jan 2019 17 www.ryansgigguide.com