Ryan's Gig Guide - December 2019

Year Parties means it’s possible to have the justified excuse to charge extortionate prices for your incredible talent of recreating versions of cheesy tunes that other people wrote. The benefits are obvious as you’ll be paid to spend the evening far away from your own repulsive family and celebrate Christmas in real style with complete strangers. No pressure to promote the show at all because it’s the responsibility of the client and even if it is a complete non event you’ll be totally content to suck more blood out of whoever hired you by demanding they feed you as well. After Xmas promotion Any Christmas theme or image adopted by independent artists traditionally continue to linger on their social media for at least a full month after Boxing Day unless they’ve bothered to inform fans that a new year is approaching or order them to have a happy one. January is normally a complete hibernation period for musicians and is about as demoralising as the sound of the many electronic singing snowman figurines sat on shelves during January sales whose batteries are all running insanely low creating what can only be described as an evil satanic chorus. Historically the tail end of February is the official grand awakening for musicians to update their image and begin any media onslaught and as a result of this mass delay the month of March becomes an orgy of musical output. The reasoning for this increase in liveliness varies; it’s normally a warmer time of year meaning more civilians venturing out to venues with many spending and consuming once again, arguably recovering from an expensive Christmas and there’s also a percentage who after having their heart dismembered on Valentines Day feel inclined to go out more and socialise like Jack The Ripper on a stag night.All these factors are important as live audience increase figures always correlate with optimised band activity. That’s all for 2019. Have a very merry Christmas unless you’re a complete back stabber,which if you are then I hazard a guess that you work in the music industry. Enjoy your Yuletide wank.Ta Ta. Nick J Townsend is the frontman and guitarist for British band Weak13. An experienced Underground musician and music promoter, film producer, all round good guy & supporter of original music. www.ryansgigguide.com rgg Dec 2019 33