Ryan's Gig Guide - April 2019

there are pros and cons whatever the time slot you play.Opening acts might not meet the head- lining band who are busy drinking in a nearby brothel till seconds before their set begins and if you’re really lucky then fans of the headliner might hear you whilst they’re clutching their tickets like a knife waiting for the understaffed bar to serve them overpriced alcohol, arguably brewed beforehand in a medieval horse trough, but whoever starts the show gets some form of soundcheck and the sound engineers close attention as your band is crucially needed to test out the PA system. The golden 9pm slot Bands performing after the opener will nor- mally receive a quick standard line check in full view of the public who are slowly filling up the venue; this is so that the sound guy knows you’re still plugged in and guarantees that your first song will echo like you’re in the Chan- nel Tunnel. Any major technical difficulties on stage should have been previously rectified thanks to tweaks made during the set of the guinea pig band beforehand. 9pm is the most sought after time slot be- cause there’s the traffic of your fans, those who supported or came late to see the opening act and the at- tendees arriving for the headliner. No matter how phenomenal your performance on stage was you and your instruments will be unceremoniously thrown off the stage or stamped on by the road crew of the headline act because you’re not as important. The great gig heist As Humiliating as it may be spend- ing money to support an es- tablished band or selling fifty tickets for a promoter who believes you have a great talent in selling fif- ty tickets (which coincidently also helps cover the headline acts booking fee) there’s still the reality that all your worst or best moments from the gig will become immortalised thanks to amateur photographers or your dad stood at the back holding up an iPhone for the entire night. If an experienced band photographer is snapping photos of you with a huge penis-like camera lens then number one they’ve recently had a divorce and two they can zoom in on you and take outstanding live shots plus hide any evidence of a badly attended show. This creates valuable propaganda for your band; a full capacity venue might hold five hundred but millions on social media may watch highlights.A bigger audience saw theTitanic sink after it had sunk thanks to an over hyped movie about two teenagers shagging on a boat; so a disastrous gig can be an ideal photo or filming opportunity and when all the gig goers to your show have died the photos will tell the truth even if was all a lie. So enjoy rock n’ roll and buy a guitar today; learn how to be a Rockstar in minutes and welcome to the music industry. Nick JTownsend is the front- man and guitarist for British band Weak13. An experi- enced Underground musi- cian and music promoter, film producer, all round good guy & supporter of original music. www.ryansgigguide.com rgg Apr 2019 23