Ryan's Gig Guide - March 2018

WWW. R YA N S G I G G U I D E . C OM r gg Mar 2018 - p.9 REUNION NEWS The Smashing Pumpkins are expected to re- form for a tour but it's still being speculated as to whether the original bassist and band founder D'arcy Wretzky will be willing to re- unite. I'm sure she hasn't forgotten that Billy Corgan did once state on the official band website that she "...was fired for being a mean- spirited drug addict, who refused to get help"; that's some smashing apology needed. Other reunion news is that Ozzy Osbourne will never quit music and Robert Plant is celebrating Led Zeppelin's 50th anniversary by arguably teasing everyone with the idea that there's a possibility he could one day maybe share the same room as Jimmy Page but that's just an idea.Tony Banks of Genesis hasn't ruled out a reunion but con- ceded: “The trouble is (Phil Collins is) our drummer, you must remember that, and he can’t drum anymore, so that’s a slight problem”. That's all for this month.Watch out for all those allegedly dangerous 5G cell phone towers get- ting erected in your neighbourhood; arguably all armed and ready to blast your microscopic minds with powerful bursts of radiation whilst you continue to be mesmerised, distracted and dumbed down by mainstream media with its lu- dicrous news stories filled with crisis actors and celebrity liars farting out of your smart televi- sion.Ta Ta folks. a cool one of a kind cover artwork for it, put it on a CD and mail it to them (with a digital ver- sion of it as well of course) for a mere $400. MOVIE NEWS Metallica's James Hetfield is to make his film acting debut in a brand new movie based onTed Bundy; the singer will portray officer Bob Hay- ward in the Zac Efron-starring serial killer film. Fans are concerned over growing rumours that other members of the American rock band are also attempting to secure acting roles in movies; sources distant to the band suggest that drummer Lars Ulrich will be cast as the new In- diana Jones or possibly in the running to grab the main role in Marvel's She-Hulk. TECHNOLOGY NEWS Billionaire Elon Musk, the worlds richest CGI animator, allegedly launched a car into space. Hopefully this event will see costs slashed for space travel. NASA has an annual budget of $19.5 billion a year whereas the average salary for an animator is $34,134 per year; a much cheaper solution. David Bowie's "Life On Mars" was played during the declared car toss; fitting really as according to science there's no sound in space.We can look forward to other useless objects lobbed into space such as chicken shacks; old refrigerators and the cast of theTwi- light films.