Ryan's Gig Guide - July 2018

www.ryansgigguide.com 8 rgg July 2018 BY NICK J TOWNSEND T his month we reveal the short tragic tale of every band who showed promise but sadly disbanded. Never before made public until now; this is the secret life reality and nightmare for many venturesome young musicians out there striving to achieve in the music scene. F ORMING A BAND Clusters of stubborn individuals from various walks of life all claiming to have common in- terests and arguably referring to themselves as friends or workmates make the bold sometimes hasty decision to create music together. Sur- prisingly musical ability or prowess isn't the fundamental crux for the formation of most bands; instead it's the sharing of a vision. This pick n' mix style assemblage of potentially de- luded volunteers can occur during high school examinations, in the middle of a pub garden or possibly during a long tedious night shift in a factory specialising in office supplies. Perhaps you audition after spotting an advert on the no- tice board of your local STD clinic? Whatever the foundations are for setting up a crew of like minded cretins it begins with nothing more than an ambitious promising idea or dream and then it faultlessly transforms into a unit of loveable workaholic superheroes all op- erating with a single harmonised purpose in mind - or at least that's what was originally an- ticipated. R EPLACING MUSICIANS If things don't quite prosper musically with long trusted chums, best mates, bosom buddies or co-workers and they need to be replaced rapidly then an experienced complete stranger is often your next viable choice of musical companion to fill the empty gap. Suddenly; just as your band undergoes the crucial proce- dure of replacing a member and teaching them all the songs within a single rehearsal there comes a cyber blast from social media remind- ing your entire fanbase that things will never be the same as they were; kind of like the voice of lazy time travellers that despise the future. Anyway you haven't got time to be con- cerned with pessimistic internet trolls or for- mer members girlfriends because now there's a frantic race against time to train your new ad- dition to not only prove you're not disabled but to be better than ever in a fraction of time. Bizarrely almost every single young group faced with the predicament of a member leav- ing and seeking out a replacement has success- fully risen to the challenge and refused to quit there and then. B EING INDEPENDENT Much time has passed. You've braved tough decisions; played the gig circuit several times over; older music fans and venue promoters start engaging and reaching towards you like the undead starved of life; important people you've never heard of before finally take your music seriously and an abundance of ancient grey-haired music promoters eager for you to sell fifty tickets for them at your next gig praise your every action. You've reached that famous point where you've all attracted some- one from the opposite sex (or same sex), mak- ing gigs even more pleasant because now you all travel separately to shows as couples hold- ing hands rather than as a full band; plus your partners help take photographs, carry drumkits, sell merchandise and write unbiased reviews for you too. Life couldn't appear more perfect; your line up boasts the chemistry of the 'Get T he untold story of every young band that split up