Ryan's Gig Guide - August 2018

www.ryansgigguide.com rgg Aug 2018 15 advantage of this marketing strategy is that until a launch date is officially announced by the band there's little pressure to reveal con- crete details and if there's an unforeseen delay then it's un-coming can be marketed as a de- layed coming and serves as an invisible prod- uct and an efficacious rolling news item. FRIENDLY RACKETEERING Countless musicians have attempted using the sponsored post facility on Facebook; results are sporadic and success is dependent on con- tent, budget or the precise regions and age groups targeted.What's remarkable is that when you don't use the service you occasion- ally receive the notification "Facebook has dis- covered that your most recent post has accumulated considerable traffic on its own without our assistance; why not throw large sums of cash at us so that we may profit from your hard work?".We can speculate that this is pure casual racketeering; basically pay us to help or we'll change our algorithm thus mak- ing it virtually impossible for users to locate you even if your status promises Madeleine McCann's exact whereabouts or the location of the crate from the movie Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. POPULAR #HASHTAGS The hashtag was originally designed to organ- ise information and, despite abuse of this sys- tem, that remains the case. Morons continue to hashtag and retweet every word in exis- tence whether it's connected to them or not which unfortunately sabotages many credible campaigns and fills them with utter junk. Hash- tagging appears most effective on Twitter; it's rather like launching heatseeking missiles into the unknown and praying the heat sources hit are the intended targets as opposed to aiming a snipper rifle accurately at a stationary un- conscious inescapable sitting duck. Favourable results require observing popular hashtag trends but this does not assure success. For example; if an individual types #Shiteaters and they're searching for others who enjoy the consumption of faeces then congratulations because if your song confidently addresses the complex issues of coprophagy then perhaps likeminded people will welcome and appreci- ate it? However; can you identify why that's quite an optimistic gamble? There's no way to calculate their music tastes or determine if they'll tolerate your band. GERIATRIC TAGGING Also known as cyber carpet bombing. Many musicians guilty of this are either elderly and inept at understanding acceptable interaction on social media platforms or are simply just plain insensitive torpid opportunists.They begin by uploading onto their own personal online platform an event poster, which for ar- guments sake depicts themselves and their giant butt shaped head; they then proceed to tag others to it who aren't in said poster. Re- cipients then receive a notification that some- one has tagged them publicly in a photograph without consent for all to marvel at; we imme- diately form a conclusion that it's a picture of ourselves only to discover that it is not; It's nothing even to do with you, your life or any- thing connected to what you like or do in the future.We normally respond by reporting to Facebook that this is actually a photograph of some geriatric sausage faced bone headed trout munching incompetent pink eyed bukkake mopping turd magnet who rightfully deserves to be a serious victim of identity fraud. If this happens to you then please just locate and walk into their bank, show them this tagged photo and state "Yes, this is defi- nitely me and I'd like to remove all the money out of the account today please". Nick J Townsend is the frontman and guitarist for British bandWeak13.An experienced Under- ground musician and music promoter, film pro- ducer, all round good guy & supporter of original music.